2016 was a tough year. Not only was my entire year dedicated to cancer treatments, but I also lost someone very close to me, my Aunt Marcia. 2017 now presents all those first year anniversaries. Anniversary of diagnosis, anniversary or treatment dates, anniversary of completion dates, anniversary of losses.
May 12 was one of the Anniversary dates that I dreaded the most and ironically it was an Anniversary that had nothing to do with my cancer diagnosis or treatment. It was the Anniversary of losing my Aunt Marcia. Marcia is my dad's sister. My dad is one of 7. Being such a large family in such a small town, everyone knew my family growing up. We are "townies", born and raised in the same town my grandparents were born in. Most of the siblings remained in the area, all live in a short driving distance from each other. I grew up with 17 first cousins. Again the majority of us all getting together for each holiday. I have fond memories of massive Egg Hunts in my Grandmother's or my parent's backyard. Christmas Eve's at my Aunt Marcia's when my Uncle would dress up like Santa and deliver gifts. Christmases at my parent's or my Uncle Barry's. There were late nights with my Aunts and Uncles celebrating, drinking, dancing and playing games. I moved after graduation and I get back home sometimes, but it's not the same. I miss the days of all of us being together.
Of all my Aunts and Uncles, my Aunt Marcia was the one that made sure we all still got together. Despite her sometimes blunt way of talking, she was one of the most inclusive people I ever met. She never turned anyone away from a party or a meal, even if she was mad at you, you were still invited and made to feel welcome in only the way my Aunt Marcia could make you feel welcome.
As things typically happen after two people get married, my holidays started to become split between my family and Carmelo's family. We try and be fair and do every other year, but that means there are some holidays where it's just my mom, my dad and my brother at home. After years of having holidays filled with chaos and lots of people, it's a hard transition to all of a sudden be sitting at a table just the three of you. My Aunt Marcia understood this and would always without fail call my parents to make sure they knew they had a place to go if they didn't want to be alone. That always meant so much to me and breaks my heart now that it's gone.
My Aunt Marcia's house was always chaotic and not only did she not turn away friends and family, she never turned away a child either. For years my Aunt Marcia was a foster parent. She would take in babies and children in constant rotation, making sure they had a safe place to live. Her love of babies and children was admirable. She had three children of her own, but never turned a mouth away and eventually adopted three of the children that she fostered. Now having six children of her own. She was an amazing person.
After my Breast Cancer diagnosis, Aunt Marcia was one of the first to reach out to me. She checked in on me almost every other day, making sure I was still smiling and doing okay. So when she received her Cancer diagnosis right after me, I made sure to do the same for her. She was diagnosed with Lymphoma, an immune system cancer. We would talk about how we were feeling, what was ahead of us, how we would be bald together and most importantly how we were going to celebrate once our treatment was over. We were scared, but we were in this together and we were going to have the biggest party once our treatment was over. That celebration never happened. On May 12 we lost her.
It's a surreal feeling losing someone to a disease that you are battling at the same time. She wasn't supposed to die. We were supposed to beat cancer together. I'm not sure why I survived and she didn't. For the rest of my treatment, I felt like something was missing. Someone was missing. I missed her so much. I still miss her so much. Things just aren't the same with her gone. There is a void.
So May 12th was coming and I was dreading it until our blood work was scheduled for May 12, 2017. Blood work that would tell us if Stephanie was pregnant and the embryo implanted. On May 12, 2017, one year after losing my Aunt, we received the phone call that we were having a baby. There is no doubt in my mind, that my Aunt Marcia, the lover of babies has had a hand in making all this happen. Although I miss her so much and wish she was here to share this amazing news with, it's comforting to know I have an Angel watching over us and this baby. Aunt Marcia, We love you. We miss you.
Next up: July 7, 2017. The big 12 week ultrasound and also the one year anniversary of completing my chemo treatments.
