Eight Weeks

We had our 8 week ultrasound today and you know what's amazing?! The baby looks great! Heartbeat is strong and everything is perfect. You know what sucks?! The trauma of our miscarriage takes all the excitement out of the ultrasounds. I walk into every ultrasound expecting to not see a heartbeat. I live in fear of the ultrasound. They make me anxious.

I really want to bring Eliza to an ultrasound appointment. But I am so afraid. What if there is no heartbeat? How would I explain that to Eliza? I don't think I would be strong enough to hold it together for Eliza not to see how sad I am.

I remember so clearly our 12 week ultrasound. Carmelo and I walked into the room so excited. For my pregnancy with Eliza this was our favorite ultrasound. She was a little jumping bean at 12 weeks and it was so much fun to see her moving so much. For the second baby, the technician put the ultrasound wand on my belly and up on the screen the baby popped. Not moving. Carmelo said "The baby must be sleeping." I remember looking away from the screen because I knew what I was seeing. Then the technician said "I'm sorry. I can't find a heartbeat." I have never been so sad. I have never seen my husband more sad. The whole thought just breaks my heart and I would never want to expose Eliza to that.

We have our  next ultrasound scheduled for June 21. We will be 9.5 weeks pregnant. Our second baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I'm hoping after the next ultrasound my fear will be lessened and I will be in a place to bring Eliza to the big 12 week appointment. But until then I am going to watch this video of my baby's heartbeat for the 1,000th time, celebrate the life that is growing because I am so in love already.

There is a Heartbeat

It's amazing how much the baby has grown in just a week. A week ago we were at the doctor's searching for anything to confirm the baby was still there, today, one week later, there was so much to see. And we were able to see the most important thing of all...the heartbeat.

Going into today's ultrasound, I'd be lying to say I wasn't a nervous wreck. After last week I just wouldn't allow myself to get to a place where I was 100% confident the baby was okay, but today, seeing that little flutter on the screen allowed me to take the deepest sigh of relief. Our baby is okay and at 138 beats per minute, the baby is actually very okay.

A video of the heartbeat and our ultrasound photo

And now we are going into the weekend with the exciting news of a heartbeat. This weekend is the Hartford's Komen Race for a Cure. My parents will be there with some of our close friends and family and I am so excited that Stephanie and the baby will also be joining us, along with her mom and sister!. There will be so much to celebrate and I am forever thankful that our little family of four will all be there participating in something very special to me

Added bonus Sunday is our 6th Wedding Anniversary. Like I said so much to celebrate!

Last Year's Komen Walk

Embryo Transfer Day

The transfer is complete!

I do not have the words to describe how happy we are today. After everything we have been through, it's finally all happening.

The day started off as normal as possible. We got Eliza fed, dressed and off to school, telling her that after today, her baby brother or sister is going to be in Stephanie's belly. She is so beyond excited to become a big sister.

Eliza can't wait for her Baby Brother or Sister, but she still has to go to school

I worked for a couple hours and then Carmelo and I took a walk. On our walk we talked about how blessed we are and that we feel so lucky that this day was finally here. Around 10:20, we got in the car and headed over to the fertility clinic. Upon our arrival and before we exited the car, we said a quick prayer asking for Stephanie and the baby to be protected thru this process. We took a deep breath and headed it.

Stephanie and her husband were already there and just like every other time we have got together with them, we embraced and smiled and were both so excited for what's ahead.  The clinic was running a little behind, so it gave us more time to talk. I love how much Carmelo and Stephanie's husband get along.

Eventually the nurse came and got Stephanie and I. She changed and the nurses went over a couple things and then brought in the husbands. The doctor came in and gave us "Baby's First Photo", a close up of our embryo. After going thru the procedure and any questions, Stephanie was escorted back to the transfer room and 15 minutes later was wheeled back in. Embryo transferred!

Our Team

Our embryo

Stephanie had to lay down for about 20 minutes, but after that the nurse said we were free to go. That was it...the day we had been waiting so long for was over...and now we wait...

Next up we are scheduled for the pregnancy test to confirm the pregnancy on May 12. Pray for us.

"I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new, that's what faith can do."

See that little speck? Right there? That's our baby! Transfer completed!